words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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