I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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