Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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