Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize