Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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