the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize