she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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