You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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