i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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