before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
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She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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