Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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