Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
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Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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