I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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