Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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