Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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