your parents love me but you hate me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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