i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize