I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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