So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize