Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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