Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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