Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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