someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize