the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
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But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
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What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize