dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize