Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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