I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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