we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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