I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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