Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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