make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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