don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
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You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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