Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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