There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize