Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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