Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
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