In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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