So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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