My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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