took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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