I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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