Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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