so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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