He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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