I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize