either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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