Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We need to get me chipped asap
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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