I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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