Your tits are I can't wait for
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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