mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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